Three Tips For Using Microaffirmations To Evaporate Exclusivity
Microaffirmations are small, intentional gestures toward others that foster positive feelings of support and comfort where they would otherwise feel excluded. In spite of being small, microaffirmations stand out in the lives of those who have experienced discrimination, racism or injustice. Unbeknownst to the giver, they are a gift that helps the recipient show up day after day despite their difficult experience.
When I was 13 years old, my family immigrated to the United States. I attended junior high school in New York City, and was placed in an English as a Second Language (ESL) class with a group of other immigrant students from around the world. The experience, for me, was amazing even though I was challenged with learning a new language and adapting to a new way of living. I became part of a new tribe of ESL students, some of whom lived in the United States just a little bit longer than I had. I looked to them as my guides and they were equally eager to help me navigate this brand new world. The comfort of belonging to this group and the intentional inclusivity of my teacher made me feel safe despite my strange, new surroundings.
The Impact Of Microagressions
On occasion, our ESL class was integrated with “regular”, non-ESL students for electives like woodworking or typeset with a printing press. My ESL peers and I immediately felt that we did not belong with the regular crowd. Their messages rang clear in the form of what I now know to be microaggressions - small, subtle insults or intimidating actions meant to embarrass and exclude those different from them. I recall hearing proclamations like, “it smells so bad in here”, accompanied by the spraying of air fresheners in front of us. Some students would imitate us when we spoke in our native tongue with other ESL students, mocking our language. While none of those experiences were life threatening, they inflicted a kind of fear that made me want to fight back or run away (well, mostly run away). They made me uncomfortable, unable to focus in class, and it was clear that they didn’t think I belonged in their classroom nor their country.
Luckily, my story didn’t end there. Among the group of regular students was a black female student who went out of her way to help me feel accepted. We never exchanged names and never really had direct conversations either. But I will never forget her beautiful, genuine smile that she made sure to flash in my direction any time her peers expressed microaggression toward my ESL group. Though from a distance, her eye contact and warmth provided the kindness, understanding and support we so desperately needed in those harrowing moments. Her microaffirmations gave me the courage to step foot into that classroom each week and empowered me to ignore the relentless microaggressions.
After more than 30 years, I am reminded of the power of microaffirmations and I feel compelled to do the same for other newcomers to the United States. In the spirit of Black History Month, I want to not only honor that black female student who made such a difference in my life, but also encourage others to be intentional about bridging differences, especially when they are in a position of privilege or majority.
Three Tips For Using Microaffirmations To Spread Inclusivity
Share a Smile – smiling is the quickest way to make a positive connection. It can instantly warm up a room, open dialogue, and ease discomfort. When we smile, positive chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin are released, giving us a sense of happiness and diffusing tension. But it doesn’t stop there. The recipient of that smile will most likely smile back, creating a positive ripple effect.
Go First – whether we’re welcoming a new student to our school or a new employee to our organization, we can go first in an effort to help that person feel included. Clear up confusion around social practices, encourage their diverse expressions of self, and help them merge familiar with unfamiliar as they acclimate to their new environment.
Say the Words – by telling those who are different than us what we appreciate learning about them, we empower them to share their unique strengths instead of feeling unseen. When we combine our strengths, we become a more dynamic team capable of solving bigger, more challenging problems.
Microaffirmations create a positive ripple effect that suffocates microaggressions in our world. What other small acts of kindness can we intentionally insert into our everyday? Let’s plant the seed of microaffirmation everywhere, so it becomes as natural to us as brushing our teeth.
By: Poyee Chiu
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